‘Time is making fools of us again’
~J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince.
Never thought I’d be quoting a Harry Potter book. Time. That’s what I want to talk about today. And if I’m being completely honest, I don’t really have a plan for this article. I’ve just been thinking about time, and the lack of it. That being said, this is going to be a really short article. But try and stick around…maybe if I rant long enough something will start to make sense.
Time does make fools of us, and I say this from a subjective point of view. Time can be suffocating at times. Times when something is thrown into your lap that you are clearly unready for. Times when time pressures you to be something you are not. Time can be cruel too. Times when you wait and wait for something to happen, wait for that diagnosis to be negative, or that job application to be approved. Time is confusing and impatient and frustrating. I’ve always hated the phrase ‘the timing is always right’ because what does that even mean? It’s my time, I think I’d know if it was wrong. Time hurts too. And the thing is, we try to understand it, we try to justify it by saying things like ‘trust your timing’. But time is time. It doesn’t explain itself or try to comfort the parts of you it has bruised. It just is.
And I know I just spent the last few minutes bashing time, and I’m sorry if that sounds pessimistic but it is what it is. As I grow up time makes a little more sense. I’m not trying to disprove everything I just said; I’m just trying to look at both sides of the coin. Human beings need to believe in a higher being, otherwise we would all lose our minds. (and I’m not going off-topic…just stay with me here) For some people, it’s God or the universe or whatever else people believe in. It is essential to sustain human life…almost as essential as breathing. We need to trust that all of this has meaning…that our existence has meaning. Time has meaning. Everything that has happened so far has led you here. And whether ‘here’ for you is good or bad, it has still led you there. It calms me to know that I’m always right where I am supposed to be. That the people I have met and the stories I have lived happened at the exact time they were supposed to.
When people say give it time, they mean it. Give it time. Give everything time. If you feel uncomfortable with who you are, give it time, you will grow into yourself. If that friendship or that relationship doesn’t make sense, time. If you still can’t let go of something traumatic that happened, time. If you’re grieving, time. If nothing seems to be working out lately, time. And I am in no way defending time. Time will never make sense. You’ll never understand why you missed that bus or why you got that seizure. I’m not telling you to forgive time for all it has done to you, or not done for you. I’m not asking you to forget the time that time has stolen from you. I am, however, asking that you trust your timing; even if it looks a bit different from everyone else’s…especially if it looks a bit different from everyone else’s.